126 Mantras And Funny Quotes To Start Your Best Day
Are you looking for an inspiring daily mantra or something to make you smile and laugh to improve your day? No matter what you're looking for - this is the place. These funny quotes and inspiring mantras will help you start your best day.
A good laugh can sometimes be the best medicine.
Positive thinking is a powerful tool.
Just like life is like looking for your phone – most of the time, it’s in your hand, a sense of humor might just help you have your best day. The only thing better would be reading this with a freshly brewed cup of coffee (or something else that makes you happy).
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
Why Laughter May Just Be The Best Medicine?
- Oxygen intake is increased. Many organs are stimulated, including the heart, lungs and muscles.
- Boosts the brain’s endorphin production
- Effortlessly relieves stress
- Reduces heart rate
- Boost the immune system
- Pain can be reduced
- Enhances mood
- Enhances satisfaction with life
A Mantras Power
Keep an open mind. The power of mantras lies in their ability to help individuals grow and develop. Even in difficult situations, they can keep you motivated and on track and give you joy and laughter.
These mantras are perfect for feeling stressed, anxious, or just need a little pick-me-up. Sometimes, saying a mantra before you even get out of bed is the best way to start your day.
Mantras for Life
- I am strong. I am a good person. I CAN do this!
- Letting go of who I am so I can become who I might be.
- Tomorrow is not for today.
- Happy. Unbothered. Disciplined. Glowing.
- Put on your positive pants.
- A negative mind will never give me a positive life.
- My vibe attracts my tribe.
- I release all disease from my body and welcome health, love, and happiness into my life.
- I persevere. I am relentless. I keep going.
- I love taking good care of myself.
Funny Mantras
- May the bridges I burn light my way.
- In life, just wing it. Nobody gets out alive.
- Inhale the good; exhale the crazy.
- I embrace my weirdness.
- Thank you, coffee.
- B Negative is my blood type, not my personal mantra.
- Let that shit go!
- Today I will be the person I was too lazy to be yesterday.
- I am waiting for the coffee to kick in.
- If cauliflower can become pizza, I can do anything!
Funny Quotes For A Good Laugh
Life is a journey; wear comfy shoes. — Unknown
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” — Lily Tomlin
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”— Winnie the Pooh
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” — Dalai Lama
“Bad decisions make good stories.”— Ellis Vidler
If you dream big enough, anything can come true. Just kidding – GET BACK TO WORK! — Unknown
“A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.”— Mark Twain
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”— Unknown
“Think like a proton. Always positive.”— Unknown
“Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.” — Robert Brault
The Funny Thing Is
“The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.” — Ayn Rand
“I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms” — Michael Scott
“You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” — Robin Williams
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”— Albert Einstein
“The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.” — Oscar Wilde
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” — Steve Martin
“You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.” — Joan Rivers
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” — Lucille Ball
“If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.” — Robert frost
“He that lives upon hope, dies farting.” — Benjamin Franklin
Laughter Is A Simple Thing
“The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.” — Ayn Rand
“I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms” — Michael Scott
“You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” — Robin Williams
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”— Albert Einstein
“The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.” — Oscar Wilde
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” — Steve Martin
“You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.” — Joan Rivers
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” — Lucille Ball
“If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.” — Robert frost
“He that lives upon hope, dies farting.” — Benjamin Franklin
Hillarious Quotes Can Turn A Bad Day Around
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.” — George Burns
“I once had a rose named after me, and I was very flattered. But, I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
“I’ve developed a new philosophy. I only dread one day at a time!” — Charles Schulz
“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” — Milton Berle
Life is like looking for your phone – Most of the time, it’s in your hand. — Unknown
“The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.” — Oprah Winfrey
“No orator can top the one who can give good nicknames.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Disneyland. The world’s biggest people trap, built by a mouse.” — Bill Murray
“Although it is generally known, I think it’s about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.” — Groucho Marx
“I’m always willing to endure humiliation on behalf of my characters.” — Ben Stiller
Laughter Helps Us Have A Positive Attitude
“Alexa, Ask Sam Jackson to roast me.” — Samuel l. Jackson
“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” — Humphrey Bogart
“I hate being called Abe.” — Abraham Lincoln
“We need to remember what’s important in life; friends, waffles and work – Or waffles, friend, work. Doesn’t matter but work is third.” — Amy Poehler
“I’m sorry but I didn’t order a glass of your opinion.” — Ernest Hemingway
“My theory is that all Scottish cuisines are based on a dare.” — Mike Myers
“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” — Erma Bombeck
“I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.” — Britney Spears
“Not only is life a bitch, it has puppies.” — Adrienne Gusoff
“I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.” — Ellen DeGeneres
Laugh Loudly & Laugh Often
“To write a diary every day is like returning to one’s own vomit.” — Enoch Powell
“If you’re gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.” — Marilyn Monroe
“I think that the film (Clueless) was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness.” — Alicia Silverstone
“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you.” — Rita Mae Brown
“Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.” — Jerry Seinfeld
“Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.” — Tina Fey
“Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.'”
—Steven Wright
“When in doubt, look intelligent.” —Garrison Keillor
“Well, nobody’s perfect.” — Billy Wilder
Laugh Loudly & Laugh Often
“Trying is the first step toward failure.” Homer Simpson
“Hey, Autocorrect! Quit tampering with my curse words, you mother forklift!” — Daffy Duck
“When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “plot twist” and move on” — Unknown
“Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.” — Unknown
“If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.” — Unknown
“Never pass up an opportunity to pee.” — Unknown
“Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.” — Otto von Bismarck
“True friends stab you in the front.” — Oscar Wilde
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Unknown
“When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.” — Unknown
Laugh Loudly & Laugh Often
“Trying is the first step toward failure.” Homer Simpson
“Hey, Autocorrect! Quit tampering with my curse words, you mother forklift!” — Daffy Duck
“When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “plot twist” and move on” — Unknown
“Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.” — Unknown
“If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.” — Unknown
“Never pass up an opportunity to pee.” — Unknown
“Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.” — Otto von Bismarck
“True friends stab you in the front.” — Oscar Wilde
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Unknown
“When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.” — Unknown
Remember - Laughter Is Contagious
“Always remember that you are unique – just like everybody else.” — Unknown
“Please do not try this at home. Unknown
“Get your happiness on” — Unknown
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” — Will Rogers
“Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” — Franklin P. Jones
“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” — Ron White
“Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.” — Jason Love
“Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” — Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach
“What if the ‘Hokey Pokey’ really is what it’s all about?” — Unknown
“I wrote a few children’s books… not on purpose.” — Steven Wright
Laughter Is Good For The Soul
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell
“Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.” — Spanish Proverb
“Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.” — Paula Poundstone
“Finally, my winter fat is done. Now I have spring rolls.” — Unknown
“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.” — Rodney Dangerfield
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” — Winston S. Churchill
“I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.” — Jimmy Kimmel
“I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure.” — Tommy Cooper
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” — George Carlin
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” — Mitch Hedberg
Laughter Is Good Medicine
“What’s another word for Thesaurus?” — Steven Wright
“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.” — Rodney Dangerfield
“Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we’ll find it.” — Sam Levenson
“I’m an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat.” —Harold Wilson
“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” — Groucho Marx
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” — Jim Carrey
“Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.” — Charles Dudley Warner
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” — Douglas Adams
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” — George Burns
“When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.” — Jane Wagner
Laughter Is Good Therapy
“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” — Buddy Hackett
“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” — Terry Pratchett
“I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.” — Warren Buffett
“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” — Robin Williams
“I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.” — Bertrand Russell
“It’s simple, if it jiggles, it’s fat.” — Arnold Schwarzenegger
“I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.” — Steve Martin
“Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.” — Joey Adams
“I never said most of the things I said.” — Yogi Berra
“I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.” — Demetri Martin
Laugh More Live Longer
“Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.” — Thomas Szasz
“I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.”
― Mae West
“I’m killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”
― Bill Watterson
“I love mankind… it’s people I can’t stand!!”
― Charles M. Schulz
“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
― Cathy Guisewite
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.” — Phil Pastoret
Thanks For Having A Good Laugh
Reading funny quotes won’t always fix what’s ailing us. Still, it is a great way to find humor amidst all the negativity in everyday life.
Thank you so much for reading this. What is your favorite funny quote from the list above? Comment below with your favorite funny quote.
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