Choosing Love Over Fear
I was asked recently, “What does the phrase, ‘love over fear’ mean to me?” My answer is, “I believe everything we experience originates from these two emotions – the energy behind the result.
When I choose love, I get to live my life feeling happy and trusting, saying yes to new possibilities, traveling, connecting and helping others. The opposite is true when I let fear get in my way. It’s a choice, and I choose love.
Fear is contraction. Fear is something that “might” happen. Fear worries. Fear resists. Fear needs to control, is weak and cannot exist without comparison.
Love is expansive. Love is an opening up. Love is a beautiful vulnerability. Love allows. Love dreams. Love wants to play. Love creates endless possibilities and is unconditional to circumstances. When we are “in love,” the absolute kind, we know that we live life to the fullest no matter what happens.”
"There are only two feelings, love and fear. There are only two languages, love and fear. There are only two activities, love and fear. There are only two motives, love and fear. Two procedures, two frameworks, two results; love and fear, love and fear."
We Are Born Into Love
Love is what we are born feeling, and fear is what we learn through experience and comparison. As kids, we lived in a place of love, present to whatever was as we let life unfold at the moment. It wasn’t until we started watching and learning from others’ reactions that we discovered fear.
The Illusion
Fear is an illusion and can only live on if I allow it. It usually runs wild in the stories I tell myself or believe and feels like a contraction or tightness (often in my chest), a pulling away and closing off. When I feel fearful, I know I’m in the hypnotic state of remembering past unpleasant experiences (memories) or daydreaming of scary future events (worries).
Freedom
Love, on the other hand, is expansive and feels like freedom. It’s when I allow and create endless possibilities for all surrounding circumstances. I believe it should exist unconditionally. Love feels like sheer joy, and when I remember, it is available in each present moment. For me, love is being vulnerable with an understanding in my heart and gut that no matter what is happening, I am living my life to its fullest.
Fear and Illness
Being afraid makes us more sensitive to getting sick. When we are anxious (fear-based), the reactive part of our brain (amygdala) controls our decisions, and we react with a flight or fight response. When we are in this state, and our bodies are trying to decide how best to respond to the thing we are afraid of,
a chemical called cortisol is released into our systems to help fight our stress. But guess what? Cortisol weakens our immune system!
Every day we are exposed to bacteria, viruses, fungi and many other foreign particles, and our immune system prevents us from getting sick. When we are anxious and filled with worry, our body expends a bunch of energy, thinking that it might get harmed or die at that moment. With that energy gone, we are weaker, more vulnerable, AND more susceptible to becoming sick.
Another thing happens when we are in that fight-and-flight mode; we may lose our ability to empathize with others’ needs because we are too wrapped up in our self-protection.
All Healing is essentially a release from fear.
Respond and Recover
Now more than ever, re-adjusting to love isn’t about ignoring or dismissing fear but instead stripping back the layers of what I am experiencing. I trust my body, and when I want the truth, I tune in to the physiological response to what is happening at that moment, which is my way of checking if it is accurate. Change the stress response by helping the brain feel safe and back into rest and digestion.
Practice Gratitude
When you feel anxious, take a few moments to think about something, you are grateful. It could be family and friends, the chirping birds in your bushes, or even the beautiful sunrise you saw this morning – keep thinking until you feel thankful.
Laugh More
Have you ever noticed how good you feel after a good belly laugh? Laughter lessens stress hormones like cortisol while stimulating feel-good hormones like endorphins. Even fake laughter can elevate our mood.
Think Good Thoughts
Believe it or not, our brains don’t know the difference between imagination and reality. It’s your thoughts that produce your feelings. For example, you are happy when you think about something that gives you the butterfly feeling inside.
Conversely, when you feel fearful thoughts, your heart will be racing and your muscles tight. You can change your reaction just by changing what you are thinking about.
May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.
Choose Love
I believe we are all connected at an energetic level, and what affects one of us affects us all. With that in mind, doesn’t it make sense to choose to live in a state of love?
Choose it for you, your loved ones, your neighborhood and your community. Choose love for our nation and the world too.
We are all here together. We must all contribute to change; all it takes is a mindset of choosing love over fear – every time.
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Kirsti Out Wandering aspires to illustrate well-being in mind, body & spirit, giving unconditional love to self and others, and pursuing all of the wild possibilities life serves up while living full-time from a sprinter van.
